The card is none other than Final Fantasy 10's protagonist, TIdus
You can always include a good-old Choice Belt to your chunky Dragonite to make it hit harder, which will let you get rid of all of those tanky enemies such as Eternatus VMAX, Palkia VSTAR, Lugia VSTAR, or Arceus VSTAR, which are the most common threats nowadays
For one, land destruction is now red mana's domain, not white's, and current MtG cards are designed to not destroy too many lands too easily because that leads to unfun gameplay
This creature can't be blocked by red creatures
Permanents and Non-Permanents There are many different card types in Magic
The reason that the template is so clunky is that properly following the criteria set by development forced the templating team to design it as such