You see, Master of Cruelties can only attack alone, but as long as theyre not blocked, whoever theyre attacking will be left with one life, no matter what life they had before
Since a Pokemon can neither attack nor retreat while paralyzed, the only thing their trainer can do is heal them with a trainer card or simply wait out the status ailment
People have mentioned that Etali is a worse version of Mind's Dilation, but I'd argue the opposite: the enchantment is getting you up to one spell each turn (possibly more if opponents are casting instants outside of their turn) and only from opponents, while Etali is getting all those spells at once and includes you
And spot removal, like Swords to Plowshares or Terror, would introduce considerably situational complexity, causing players to contemplate risks and make assessments on both offense and defense
Nothing hurts you quite like your own creatures, and after 8 or 9 turns of everyone battlecruiser-ing their way through a Commander game, Insurrection just makes sense
(Damage is not an effect.) You may play any number of Item cards during your turn